How to be Single During the Holidays

by Kay Winders

The holidays are a great time to be with the people you love. For many people, this means spending time with their husband or wife and their children. For many, it means spending time with their extended family, including those near and far.

For singles, the holidays can be a bittersweet time. It can be both a joyous time and a lonely time. By seeing everyone else with their spouses and their children, you may start dwelling on the fact that you are not with anyone. Add to that the inevitable questions, comments, or outright pressure you may face from family and friends about why you’re still single or just when you’re going to get married or have kids.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There are a few ways that you can get through the holiday season and make it just as fun and joyous not just in spite of your single status, but because of it. Here’s how to be single (and fabulous) at the holidays:

Spend Time with Other Singles

When you spend all your time with families and married couples, you may end up comparing your situation to theirs and feeling worse about your situation than you need to feel. You also might face the inevitable barrage of questions about your single status, which can annoy you and make you feel worse.

Don’t subject yourself to that. Instead, choose to spend the majority of your time around other singles. These are people who can commiserate with you about being single — or celebrate how fabulous it is to be single.

Attend Lots of Parties

Parties aren’t just a great way to celebrate the holiday season — they are also a great way to meet new people and to take your mind off things (like how you’re going to deal with your mother asking you why you still haven’t had a baby). You never know: You also just might meet someone fabulous at one of the parties!

Of course, not all parties are going to lift your spirits. If the invite comes from a married couple with kids, chances are that the other guests will also be married or have kids. Being around a lot of couples may only remind you of your single status — or bring obnoxious questions. Better to stick to parties with other singles, young people, or co-workers.

Host Your Own Party

Don’t wait to be asked to the dance — host your own! Hosting your own party can make you feel fun, popular, and loved — all the things you might not be feeling without a mate at your side during the holidays. Throw your own party and invite all your friends and co-workers. You’ll be too busy kissing under the mistletoe and singing Christmas carols to worry about why you’re single (or if it matters).

Have a Sense of Humor

Instead of getting defensive or angry at the inevitable questions you will get about your single status — “Do you think you’ll ever get married?” “Aren’t you worried it will be too late to have kids?” — adopt a sense of humor about it. Don’t honor the questions with genuine answers. Say things like, “No, I’m too young to get married” (even if you’re 50) or “Oh, man, I forgot that I need to have kids! I better make an appointment to do that next week.”

Of course, you’ll have to temper your humor for your audience. While you do want to deflect questions and make light of the situation, you don’t want to create a holiday rumble at the dinner table.

Remember the Benefits

One of the best ways to get through the holidays when you’re single is to remember all the reasons it’s great to be single. Think about it: You don’t have to argue about whose family you will visit for Christmas dinner. You don’t have to suffer unbearable in-laws. You can sleep in any day you want. You don’t have to put up a Christmas tree or decorations if you don’t want to. You can eat pumpkin pie and eggnog every day for breakfast if you want.

Being single means doing what you want when you want. Remember that and do something fun!

The holidays don’t have to be a lonely time or a dreaded time in which you subject yourself to even more questions about why you’re still not married. Use these tips to get you through the holidays so that it’s a fun and festive time for you, too — single or not.

How do you get through the holidays when you’re single? Share your tips in the comments!

About the Author: Kay Winders is presently the resident writer for, where she researches the best way for people to pay off their debts without damaging their credit. In her spare time, she enjoys freelance writing, the beach and gardening.


Guest Post: Summer Bunnies Drive Me Crazy

One day when I was busy doing nothing, I was tagged to this post. That was my first encounter with fellow taggee, nkirdizzle. I checked her work at Revealed, and I loved what she has, as I am sure you will if you do the same. I would like to thank her for this wonderful guest post, sit tight and enjoy!


I have been asked this question several times, what is a summer bunny?

A summer bunny is a Kenyan who is visiting from overseas. They usually come back mostly around November to February, or in June, or whenever they feel like it.

Summer bunnies are very dangerous, in fact you should stay away from them.

But then again, they are extremely cool cats. They come back home with all kinds of fancy things that you can souv yourself like lipgloss, that pretty top, the nice jacket he he he, not to mention new accents for some of the superficial bunnies.

There is also the fact that most of them come back acting and looking like the epitome of cool. Getting involved with them would seem very lucrative since they are only here for a certain period of time, and they are the perfect contenders for a summer fling.

Or so I thought….

Last year a friend of mine came back for the Christmas holidays. We were not that close and I had no idea he was back. Anyway so we bumped into each other and started talking again since we already had each other’s digits.

At first it was just platonic but then me the idiotic girl that I am caught feelings.

Did I mention that he came back looking all ripped after shedding a significant amount of pounds? And he knew just the right shirts to wear that would hug his biceps perfectly.

By the way, why do buff men feel shy to show off their muscles?? I ask my close friends that question all the time because they are so ripped and they never show it off!

He also has that whole LL Cool J thing going on, he would always subconsciously lick his lips slowly in a very provocative way. It used to drive me crazy and made me wish I could lick them for him (o.O)

Anyway so like I said previously before I digressed, we were just friends and out of my own volition, I fell for him, hard.

We used to talk every day, about anything and everything. We had mutual friends so we always did stuff together. We worked in the same industry so we got to compare whose job is worse than the other.

I wish I put a stop to the madness before it progressed so far. Nothing good comes off summer flings if you introduce emotions into the mix.

Not to mention that I am against long distance relationships, those things never work, the horror stories trump the success stories. I am more for the option to part ways on a good note, and then see what happens once distance is no longer a barrier.

To cut the long story short, nothing ever materialised between us, he went back to wherever he came from and that story pretty much died. The feelings evaporated, and I moved on, fell and got over other losers.

Then thanks to some social networks and their dumb top news I discovered he is now with someone else and the feelings came rushing back! The green eyed monster reared its ugly head and the promise of good things to come in future vanished.

I am one of those people who still lights a torch for people whom I could have been with, but circumstances came in the way so nothing happened but we still are sort of friends, and there is still a window of opportunity.

Well I considered him to be in that category, especially since I have never got him out of my system.

Thanks to that idiotic network again, I have discovered he is summer bunnying again this year. He must have landed by now. This piece of information has sent my mind reeling. I cannot get my hopes up because he is now with someone else. I am afraid to see him because I have no idea what emotions that will elicit. I want to see him to see how it will affect him. I still have the slightest glimmers of hope….. uurrgghh.

Instead of cutting the story short, I am just extending it smh.

Summer bunnies will drive you crazy, R-Kelly was not lying when he was belting that tune out!



Quote: I haven’t been to work in two weeks. I’ve almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper – Annonymous