Today I am going to write about something that I have been dealing with recently. Something that I became consciously aware of and it somewhat freaked me out. After noticing that I did it often I also realised that many other people did it too, which ofcourse forced me to analyze it and subsequently write something about it (yes writing is my therapy).
So anyway today I will talk about criticism and how we self-sabotage ourselves when we always focus on criticising others instead of ourselves. I have to admit, due to some of my personality traits I am good at focusing on flaws, mistakes and errors of other people. Infact, it does not help that I am a perfectionist who sometimes tries to prove others wrong just for the sake of feeling like I am right.
It is easy to criticize other people, infact when you criticize you somehow get a delusional feeling that you are better than another individual. A couple of years ago when I was going through a particular phase in my life, I came to learn of a concept called ‘projection.’
Simply explained, it states that the traits which we identify in others whether good or bad are somehow inherent in us. Yes, when you throw out that “she is so manipulative” comment at another, it may mean that deep inside we share that character trait. Projection and the awareness of our strengths/weaknesses is a fabolous way to master or discover who you really are. I would have gone deeper in to it but that is not my focus today.
Back to criticism….. the thing with criticism from a distance is that most of the time it may be coupled with hate or an inferiority complex. It is easy to focus on others flaws yet forget that we are human beings that have loads of issues to deal with.
to the point………
our progress as individual is greatly limited when we keep on focusing on what others need to do with their lives. I suggest that it would be better if you focused more on yourself and what we need to do to become better individuals.
Am I saying that we totally refrain from criticising injustices? no. What I mean is that we should focus more of our criticisms on our selves and continually challenge who we are on a daily basis. In our relationships/friendships instead of focusing on what others should do to make us happy, put your ego aside and instead ask yourself what you can do to improve ourselves and make them have a great experience when interacting with us.
Self criticism is one great way of taking control of our lives and constantly improving on who we are as people……
so, what do you need to improve on as a person?
write it down, share it with a friend and make a commitment to continually work on the issue no matter what it takes.
About the Author: Arum The Champ is a blogger who writes mostly about how people (should) behave on twitter. You can find his hilarious writing at The Rare Champ