Stand For Kenya

 

We are extremely proud to be Kenyan!
We are proud of our beautiful country!
We are proud of our diversity cultures and traditions!
We are proud of our heroes!
We are proud of our high achievers!
We are proud of being hustlers!
We are proud of our hoods!
We are proud of our tribes and twengs!
We are proud of our kanges and our mats!
We are proud of our artists and musicians!
We are proud of our industries and farms!
We are proud of our sports teams!

On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, wherever you are, at work, in the supermarket, in traffic, in school, on campus, in hospitals, in churches, in mosques, in temples, in synagogues, on sports pitches, in court, on your farm, at police stations, at armed forces barracks, in matatus, in buses, on the beach, in the game parks, at the airport, in parliament, in State House, in your homes ..

On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, we stand
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, we unite
On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, we shall speak in one voice.

On the 28th of February 2011 at 1pm, let’s sing our beautiful and powerful National Anthem, all three verses.
On the 28th February 2011 the world will watch as Kenyans stand UNITED;
1pm, 1 nation, 1 people, 1 anthem, united in 1 prayer for 1 Kenya
We are Kenya!

 

The Princess Project: I am a Mongrel

by Sheblossoms

I realized last week that there is a statute of limitation on honesty, open-mindedness, tolerance, justice and human dignity. Those qualities that should be the definition of humanity, in Kenyan society they are only valid as long as they are relevant to the one calling them out. Well, to be fair it is probably not a Kenyan thing, most likely a human thing. Oxymoron, no?

Honesty, is replaced with hypocritical deception as soon as one reaches one of those milestones that mark adulthood in Kenya. I had a baby, I’ll hide behind religion and perpetrate hateful schemes in the name of faith. Never mind that the tenets of the same religion stand by love, joy, peace, kindness…

When I say honesty, I don’t mean telling the truth whichever way I want without regard for other people’s dignity, feelings or the consequences that may result from telling it. When I say honesty, I mean a sincere understanding of one’s own shortcomings and the acceptance that everyone else in spite of their shortcomings does have a right to life and dignity.

Open-mindedness, has been replaced with evil, hateful, close minded phobia of anything that is new or different, even if it is beneficial to the general society. Sure, as long as one is young you will hear speak of the newest gadget, technology, way of doing things. But then hit a certain age and its ‘vijana wa siku hizi.’ I know you probably want me to stop and speak of the sexually different so you can lynch me. Go ahead, do so, but remember by our sincere kindness and honest love we teach the truth. Otherwise, why do think Jesus Christ let the ‘sex worker’ wash his feet?

By the way, by open mindedness, I do not refer to the unprincipled acceptance of everything that passes under the sun. Rather, I am speaking of the possibility for life to be lived in different ways, and of the possibility for each one to be a vessel of good and excellence in society with whatever it is that we have been blessed with.

Tolerance: I am a woman, who having been raised in a family where the majority was male sometimes tend to think like a man. No, I don’t like Soccer. Rugby fascinates me. All those big men.. ah! My mother is still not convinced that I am not gender confused. No, I’m a girl, although a lot has been said about Fujoshi. I love teddy bears and hate flowers. Hardly a butterfly, am I? I couldn’t care a bit what some celeb did or what gossip has been put up on some blog. I would be at a loss if you asked me what tribe I was. My maternal uncles say I should just identify myself by the language I speak, but they along with my mother speak Kikuyu and Maasai. My father speaks Embu, German, Pokomo and Italian. My step-dad whom I absolutely adore speaks Embu, Luo and French. I speak Swahili, Giriama, English, and really good Kikuyu. All I know for sure is that I am a citizen of Kenya.  I like English and Spanish films but abhore soap operas, Spanish, Mexican or English. I am a fob for American Police Dramas, and a hardcore Marvelite.  I am crazy about african urban fiction, if it is written by Mwangi Ichungwa and Ian Arunga. I love rock español[I have a huge crush on Juanes], bachata, some castillano ballados, indie rock, coffeehouse rock, country rock and I have a thing for Tchaikovsky.

A mongrel, that’s what I am. So I find it hard to be mean to someone just because they are something I am not. I have my own principles. I trust you to have yours. And I REFUSE to hold you to mine. I say this in the same breath I will call for your justice, and mine. I will fight for your dignity, even if you might not fight for mine. And in this, will you refuse to accept my difference?

God forbid, that I should grow older, get married, have a baby… and use that as an excuse to be something I am not. Heaven forbid, that I should ever uphold my well being by trampling on another’s soul.

And just a little reminder on last week’s ezine.

Episode 3 of the Creekside Princess is Coming up, so be sure to get done reading Episode 2:

Hey Soul Sister 1

Hey Soul Sister 2

Hey Soul Sister 3

Then on the Mag, there was:

1. Digitization of Art with Chiira Maina

2. A Review of Mansfield Park by Jane Austen with Gideon Chumo

3. Bye Bleach – Beautiful Inside Out with Imani Opar

4. February Diva – Sitawa Wafula an Interview with Njeri Athena

5. Roses are Red.. So is Blood on the Punk’s Twilight Zone

6. Susan’s Life – Society with Brenda Angwenyi

7. Of Words Written – Paper Mache with @sheblossoms

Keep an eye on this week’s articles, two a day, plus the third episode of Creekside Princess. Unless of course you don’t want to find out how Gabrielle gets out of the clutches of a Serial Killer.

Have a grand week!

The Princess Project: Love is…A Note To PPK Readers

I know, I did this last year. But since people look at me weird when I say I don’t do Valentines, I figured I’d say it again. No, I don’t NOT do Valentines because there is no one in my life to love. Actually, there’s several someones and one special someone, but this year, I think they all understand my thing against the commercialisation of Valentines Day. but just to recap:

You have your opinion, I have mine. Not that you are asking but I will tell you anyway. Besides I waited until after you had your weekend before telling you what I think.

February 14th, 2009, I was flat out on my back. A combination of an acute attack from an old chronic condition and a new infection of malaria. So I had these hormones going wild in ways that were not enjoyable at all, water retention, nerve pain, migraine, dizziness, nausea, fluctuating blood pressure, you name it and I could not tell whether it was the Malaria or the Lupus.

It was a really bad time, and the perfect time for me to sort of reflect on a few things. I got a few notes that reminded me of some of the things I was thinking of during that weekend.

“Hope you had a great Valentines, if you believe in it.” came a note from a friend all the way in Mombasa.

“I don’t believe in Valentines Day, but I do believe in Love.” I responded. He sent me back a smiley shock. I won’t even try to insult your intelligence by dredging up the history of St. Valentine (2 of them, plus the 9 others who were matyred), and Cupid, and all the other things I have issues with. I won’t even try to convince you that I would rather have a thousand days of simple meals, hugs, kisses, respect, and trust over one day of a pretty card, expensive gifts and a fancy meal. So I’ll just tell you about my idea of love.

Love is the mother who does not agree with me 100% of the time, but who understands that I have a path to follow, and choices to make for myself, and does not impose her choices on me, even though she gave birth to me, and raised me, on her own mostly.

Love is the friend who will tell me straight out that I am wrong when I am wrong, but will stand by me to the ends of the earth if anyone else tries to attack me.

Love is the friend who calls me from a thousand miles away to see how I am even though he himself has been through a ghoulish day.

Love is Daddy, when he buys lunch for the kids at the centre, because he knows this weekend I am broke and sick, and I won’t be at the centre, and it is killing me.

Love is Grandpa John, looking after Grandma Peris during the days when she was really sick, even though he himself was quite old at the time, love is the memories he cherishes of her now, when she is gone.

Love is the grandchild, the great grandchild who spares the time to share that great big kettle of milky tea and listen to him talk about 1945 and 1973 all at the same time, as if they were one year. Because that’s all he wants now, someone to talk to.

Love, love is the kitty who waits for me at the wall of the gate every single night until I get home, and then greets me as if I am the best thing that happened to her all day.

Sometimes, love is the flutter of hope in my tummy every time I think there might be something more about that man, but love proves itself best under time, and fire, with roses and diamonds, or with cactus and sand, with the jade blue glow of the beautiful ocean, or against the dry heat and sun of a drought thrashed land.

Love is… infatuation, sex, passion, desire, sometimes it is. But love is… truth not perfection, integrity not honesty, loyalty not faithfulness, justice not fairness, trust not belief, patience not endurance. Love is a superlative, if you think you are doing enough, you need to do much more.

Love is a way of life, every day, every week, every month, every year, not just a day of love once a year. You might chose one day to celebrate it, that is your choice to make. My choice, is to be outrageously loving to the people who matter to me every single day.

 

Last week, we gave you two webisodes out of the Creekside Princess.

Hey Soul Sister Part Two: Gabrielle tried not to think of the dead girls. They weren’t dead in those pictures. They looked so alive. Like she was right now. But she could be as dead as they were if Michael even had inkling as to what Kombo and his Team were planning. Read it…

Hey Soul Sister Part Three: She was distracted from her paranoid thoughts about sinister secret societies, by the click and slide of double bolts falling into place. That’s when she noticed that Samantha’s door was hardly non-descript on the inside. The door had a metal plate between the plain simple outside part of the door, and the hardwood on the inside with decorative carvings very similar to the Swahili door carving. Read it…

Then we gave you:

A Review of The Peculiar Kenyan by Sunny Bindra – The Reading Room
The Ramblings of the Cherub – The Cherub on the Other Side
No! You Cannot Divorce Me! – Legal with Parsha Lukamba
Adventures in Disguise – Society & Identity
Tunisia, Egypt, Kenya? Revolution Anyone? – Business & Internet
Tentacles of the Same Octopus – Paper Mache with @soul_fool
Picking up the Threads of Your Life – Chronic City

We hope you enjoy reading with us. And if you have any ideas, thoughts or comments, please write in to us atjmaruru@princessprojectkenya.com

 

 

The Score Sheet

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

 

The day that guys love to hate, Valentines (or, if you like, Extortion) Day is around the corner. As a result, I thought it wise to talk about the interaction between guys and girls. As it is said, girls are like mobile phones……..if and when you press the wrong button, you will get disconnected. You will be having a wonderful candle lit dinner at a five star hotel until when your eyes accidentally spot another girl. You will try as much as you can to bring back your eyes to your girl, but damage will have been done. That “mistake” will cost you a lot of things and you will wish you had not taken her out in the first place! Punishment depends on the level of drama queen-ness of the girl, ranging from being slapped to wine being poured on your new white shirt to a combination of these two and her leaving you and making sure everyone knows you area jerk. In all cases, you will have to pay her bill, and start thinking of an expensive apology gift!

 

Guys on the other hand, are different. We will accumulate the wrongs, then one day, when we cannot take it anymore, we will find ourselves a better girlfriend(s) and move on. Of course everyone will talk of how bad you have treated your (now) former girlfriend and how she loved you without knowing how much you had to sacrifice to put up with her B.S! For guys, everything a girl does earns her points. The points may be positive or negative, depending on what the girl has done. The points awarded for action X slightly differs among guys but most guys will award around the same points for the same action. Since I am cool like that, I decided to pen down a few actions and the approximate points ladies will earn:

 

1. Send a text (5)
2. Send a text and you are my mpango wa kando (-10) (Leaves evidence on my phone)
3. Send a text with the words “love” and “you” in it and remembering not to include the word “don’t” (10)
4. Not sending a text (0) (10 if you are mpango wa kando)
5. Replying my texts (3)
6. Replying my text over five hours after it has been sent (1)
7. Not replying my text or replying my text over 24 hours after I sent it (-20) (and I start looking for the phone number of the chick who has been flirting with me)
8. Calling me the name of your ex, brother, father or any other male name that is not mine in a text (-20)
9. Using the word “lol” in a text (-2.5)
10. Using the word “lol” in a text, and using it out of context (-6.25)
11. Not taking my call for whatever reason (-8)
12. Not taking my call, and not calling back three hours later (-8.75)
13. Not taking my call and not bothering to call back (-23.45) (AND YOU HAD BETTER BE DEAD!!!)
14. Bringing me breakfast in bed (52.5) (mmmhhh…..I like)
15. Bringing me breakfast in bed and it is something I like (81.75) (mmmhhh…..I very much like)
16. Bringing me breakfast in bed and there is something I hate (like Garlic) in it  (-5.75) (ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??)
17. Starting an argument (2.25) (Its expected…..I am used to it)
18. Starting an argument about my ex (-23.45) (Why the hell do you have to bring the past……even if it was good while it lasted<sigh>)
19. Admitting that I am right, and you have lost the argument (74.5) (It will probably never happen….wait, is there something you do not want me to know?…….or, Are you pregnant??)
20. Continuing with the argument even after I have admitted to losing when I know I am right (-10)
21. Returning a statement I say with “Whatever” or “pssshhh” or “talk to the hand” or just walking away (-11)
22. Buying me a present for Valentines (5)
23. Buying me a present for Valentines and expecting nothing in return (13.75)
24. Not buying me a present for valentines (3.75)
25. Not buying me a present for Valentine yet you expect several from me (-20)
26. Buying me flowers for valentines (-14.5)
27. Introducing me to your male friends (10)
28. Introducing me to your male friends as your boyfriend (25)
29. Introducing me to your male friends as your boyfriend with a hug and a kiss (45)
30. I come home and you are looking gorgeous (35)
31. I come home, you have cooked my favourite meal and you are looking gorgeous in the lingerie I bought you recently (50)
32. But you are watching a soap (-7.25)
33. You make all efforts to change the channel before I could see what you were watching (even though I have seen it) (13.75)
34. You land to a sports channel (55) (or better yet you land on MUTV, then you get 45 more points )
35. You land to a channel showing Nigerian movies (-130)
36. After 32 above, you continue watching TV like nothing has happened (-15)
37. I try looking for the remote and I realize you have hidden it (-26.25)
38. After 33 above, you have recorded the match pitting my favourite team and any other team that I missed (45) (5 more points if you have bought my favourite drink that had run out to act as pop corn as I watch the match)
39. You come home and find me watching a football game (7.5)
40. You dare not interrupt, and decide to watch the game with me (20) (11.25 more points if you do it quietly without asking too many questions)
41. You cheer the team I seem to be cheering (41.25)
42. We win (40)
43. And you shower me with hugs and kisses as if I was the player who scored the winning goal (60)
44. If you decide to cheer the opposing team (11.25) (for agreeing to watch)
45. My team loses (-2.5)
46. You console me (-3.75)
47. You laugh at me (-28.75)
48. After 39 above, you locate the remote and change the channel (-26.75)
49. To the channel showing the live game between my team and any other team that I had forgotten the time it will start (35)
50. After 48 above, to a channel showing a soap or a Nigerian movie (-82.5)

 

These are just a few things, there are many more that earn girls points. Let me know what action and approximately which points a girl will get in the comments section. No points for guessing which action gets the girl the jackpot of 1000 points!

 

THE DAY’S

 

Disclaimer: I will be indebted to these three guys whose suggestions were too good to be ignored in the making of this post: KevMotz, NdubiAbenga and Jose

 

Quotes: My girlfriend is still mad at me because I called her fat last month! Well you know what they say…Elephants never forget!

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV – Tracy Smith

 

 

Guest Post: It is Not Easy Being A Senior Bachelor

I am writing this in the company of a very good friend and neighbour from the workplace. We decided it was too early to go home so we passed by the kalocal for some choma and a drink…..two perhaps. I have known this guy for a year now and he is an open book. He has a baby momma in the office, has tried to make moves on at least two other ladies and has a girlfriend that is too young to understand the meaning of a long distance relationship. I have never seen any of his friends. In fact some of my friends are all of his friends.

He has been talking a lot about getting married and I find nothing wrong with that. He has it all going for him. Commissions in the hundreds of thousands, very few friends especially the female ones (you don’t need many female friends if you are not interested in fitting in the category being described in this post) and he has earned best employee a few times….. Then comes the bombshell. He announces that he has changed his mind and wants to get married at forty. For a man that has been constantly whining about having to constantly eat nyama choma for supper and how he would get married instantly if only his girlfriend would get a little more serious, this comes a as great shocker.

But I am not shocked, am tickled and I advice him that if he truly is bent on getting married in 2013 then he should embark on the long overdue masters and perhaps top it up with a PHD. I know no other way to distract a man with his looks and a personality.

Honestly, I fail to understand men and their recent craze for getting married when they have no semen for their sperms to swim in. Recently another one that I hold very dearly to my heart told me that when he gets married (at 40) he would ensure he had enough money to buy, build or rent and furnish two exactly identical houses….one for him and one for his wife and kids. Reason: He loves his space.

That is the way any man who is bent on settling at 40 should think. He has a first class ticket to senior bachelorhood because no child bearing age woman could sit and listen to some crap about you loving her and her babies very much but wanting to stay in a separate house. Space my pinkie toe! My friend better be ready to get a good fast food when he eventually gets married to a woman nearing menopause that has been married at least twice before and has attended numerous women’s meetings to pray for husbands at KICC or wherever they will have shifted to by then. With the kind of food we eat these days please be advised that more and more women are hitting menopause in their thirties and early forties.

Boys, women want to get married…..totally explains the booming businesses ranging from gold digging pastors at KICC claiming to be praying for us to get partners to that bwana pap business where you text husband to some expensive number and a husband is expected to appear comme par miracle to the publishing business where women buy books like ‘Why men marry Bitches’ and ‘Women are from Venus Men are from Mars’….all in an attempt to understand who the hell this species that claims to have a missing rib is.

But trust me no matter how many such books we push to the best selling list or how many pastors make millions out of our naivety, no one wants to marry an old man especially if there is no pren-up that favours me. Unless we sign a premarital contract stating in those blunt terms that I will kill you in your sleep before we can have any malformed babies….I am not marrying you. Let no one lie to you….despite the fact that your power house is located somewhere that is supposed to have temperatures cold enough for it to continue working. It is definitely not in top condition by the time you are in your fourth decade. Mungu si Athmani. He knows exactly why he created that power house to begin working very early in your life….so stop trying to do His work…..Leave your mother and father and go find yourself a wife….. then go ye and multiply….hehehehehehehehe.

My advice: Women are at their peak in their late thirties and early forties…beauty, career, sex…name it. A woman at this age has just finished the perilous journey of self discovery and she knows what she wants. It makes much more sense to walk with her through this journey than to find her when she has done it all on her own. (That is assuming you boys want to marry someone your age or a few years LESS). You had better play all your games in your early twenties, get a stable girlfriend in your mid twenties and get married in your late twenties to early thirties. This will ensure that you grow old with your children. For their sake please don’t let other children ask if it was their grandfather who came for the parents day. And you definitely don’t want your wife cheating on you. As I have already mentioned, she will be at her peak when you can be of no use to her especially in the contentious department. So save yourself the hustle of hiring a detective in an attempt to salvage your marriage. You will still end up divorced and that tastefully furnished house, of which you have a photocopy, goes to her including the children and other nice things that belong to you that she will have earned regardless of whether she is a housewife or a CEO. You think marrying as man that is 10 years to his death bed is a walk in the park?

THE DAY’S:

Disclaimer: This post was written by Deestinguished who Blogs at Dyiembo’s Blog and at The Alternative Focus. I am indebted to her for this post.

Quotes:

1. Question: Where do you work? Answer: I have a boyfriend! – Deestinguished

2. The optician asked me to read the bottom line. “Made in China” I replied. I passed the eye examination!