Knee –jerks from a Burlesque Writer

By Akhatenje

  1. Read bad books.
  2. Read very bad books.
  3. Read good books.
  4. Read very good books.
  5. Do not kiss a published author’s ass, especially if you have not read his or her book.
  6. Prudishness is not your friend. Do not be a prude.

Prude: noun (disapproving) a person that you think is too easily shocked by things connected with sex.

Prudery: noun (formal, disapproving) the attitude or behaviour of people who seem very easily shocked by things connected with sex.

Prudish: adjective (disapproving) very easily shocked by things connected with sex.

-Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary-

  1. Do not embarrass yourself with bad grammar. Good grammar matters. Forget what the idiota who failed English tells you about language being a versatile slut that can be pimped with abandon.
  2. Edit your own work. Do not ask, “What is the work of an editor, then?” Editors will lick your boots if you submit clean copy.
  3. Take advice and criticism like a man. Do not scratch it with your nails like a woman.
  4. Buy an English dictionary at Bookpoint on Moi Avenue…or any other bookshop. But I highly recommend Bookpoint because it smells and looks as disorganised as a real bookshop should, ladders included. Dictionaries have words. A writer lives on words.
  5. Talk to your demons. They have good story ideas.

About the Author: Akhatenje is crazy (in a good way). There are bad bloggers, bloggers, good bloggers, poor writers, writers, great writers and akhatenje. I am not even worthy to pick the lid of her pen if it falls. Very few are in her league and if you doubt me, look at some of her work here. While you are at it, you may want to look at spikey 58 poetry contest here and here.


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