Guest Post: What A Dating Site Won’t Do For You

By Tonya Vrba

Dating sites have exploded across the internet. Everyone knows about them and most of us know at least one person who is on one or are on one ourselves. There are even niche dating sites for fans of Star Trek, World of Warcraft and even for people who like to wear diapers. There are two common sides commenting on the popularity of dating sites. There are those who assume dating sites are full of creeps and other who think using a dating site will solve all of their relationship problems. Both of these assumptions are wrong. Here is a list of the things a dating site won’t accomplish for you.

1. A dating site won’t find someone who meets your ridiculously high standards.

You’re looking for someone young and fit, like the type who runs marathons, but you want them to spend all their time hanging out with you. Their friends and family must all be super amazing people who you would hang out with on a daily basis even if you weren’t dating your image of perfection. They must make at least 80,000 dollars a year (Kshs. 60,000 a month) but not work too many hours. They must be amazing cooks, love adventure, be perfect dancers and never hang out with any members of the opposite sex without you around.
I’m sorry, but even if a dating site matches you with someone, the relationship won’t make it far past the first date. People online will be just as unlikely to meet your crazy standards as those who you meet in person.

2. A dating site won’t solve your commitment issues.

It’s not that you’re afraid of making a commitment, it’s that you haven’t found someone who has been willing to stick around for years waiting for you to let down your walls. You’re looking for that special person who will suddenly cause all your walls to fall the instant you meet them. Until then, your guard is up and you commit to no one…and no one will commit to you, online or off. A relationship is a two way street. Both parties must be equally involved in order to make it work. No one can lower your emotional walls for you. Think of it this way. You invite people to your house. When they arrive, they find all the doors locked even though you are inside. Do you really think someone will risk getting hurt by breaking in? Maybe if they’re a criminal, but not if they’re a quality person. If you want people to come to your house, you leave the door unlocked. If you want someone to commit and fall in love with you, you have to have the ability to do the same for them.

3. A dating site won’t solve your body issues.

So you’re a bit on the chubby side. Maybe you’re not but you still have a horrid self image. Perhaps you are grossly unhealthy in how you treat your body. Why should it matter? Someone will love you just the way you are. This you could get away with online. Some people like chubby, and some may even be just gross enough themselves to tolerate you. The problem is, most probably they won’t tolerate disgusting hygiene habits for long. I will throw a bone to this one and say that you might find someone. However, if you have a horrible body image, no one can save you. When someone tells you they think you look great, you won’t believe them. When they say you’re not fat, you’ll be convinced they are lying. No one, not your best friend and not any lover you find will be able to convince you that you are fine just the way you are. You have to love yourself first before anyone will love you back.

About The Author:

Tonya Vrba is a passionate writer. Her work has been published in newspapers and blogs. She writes frequently about health, career and dating issues. Tonya currently writes with The Online Dating Site Blog. Learn more about her work at her personal website.

I am forever indebted to Tonya Vrba for this wonderful post.


6 thoughts on “Guest Post: What A Dating Site Won’t Do For You

  1. deceive other people in online dating sites, sometimes they are not real photos, ages are false and all information that is put in the profiles, can be real or false, one must be careful

    • This is very true, but the same can happen in real life. A person can lie about their past, their income and anything else if they want. In this way, online dating is not so different from dating in person. You have to be smart and keep an eye out for red flags on and off line.

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