Written by Brenda Angwenyi
My friends think I’m the happiest girl on earth (of course I am). I go around smiling and giving off this bubbly feeling to everyone I meet.
‘It’s a beautiful day outside’ or ‘you’ll be fine’ and that cheery ‘Hello’ you get when I pick up the phone, I can make you believe it’s fantastic even when it may not be on your end.
Yes, I am the happiest girl on earth even when things are going absolutely blue on my side, something to do with what my mum used to say when all was not well for me, “Do not show the world you are on your knees even when you’re on your stomach.”
It is bright yellow all through even when the black skies are looming.
Then there are moments when I want to hide, want to crawl into some corner and just sit there and hope someone would hold me, would care as much as I want them to, someone who would make my heart skip just for a moment when I hear his name. On those days I might not lift my head as high as I always do or give you the bubbly ‘hello’ when you call me; it’s just a slump in my routine.
Yes, I am loved and I do have special someones in my life but not that special SOMEONE. You see love and I have never been really friends; he’s red and I’m black and when he attempts to give me a wardrobe makeover, I resist. We walk past each other with a mean stare and give each other hard times.
I’m the kind of person that has problems with the phrase, “falling in love” because falling for me means I’m not in control and I love to be in control. If it is falling then it has to be in my own speed and time and even land just right on the ground.
Every girl nowadays has this face of steel when she says ‘I cannot be broken by any guy.’ She also confesses of a heart of steel. Nowadays it’s hard for a girl to admit that a guy broke her heart because it means she’s weak. She won’t be the first to say ‘I love you’ either, because that would mean she’s gullible.
So when I admitted to a friend that I was falling in love for some handsome gentleman, there was a look of triumph on her face. So finally I’m admitting to falling in love and letting my pettiness go.
It’s not wrong if you fall in love, after all what do you think all those couples who are together first experienced? They fell then they rose up and walked on together.
So don’t be afraid to fall, to lose control once in a while, to love madly and to hope that you will be loved back. There will be bad days but you can also choose to walk together through them and move on past the jerks that broke your heart.
And with that, see a recap of last week’s e- zine…
‘Eyes Wide Shut’ (A Commentary on the ICC Proceedings) with Alexander Eichener
Humour in Writing (A Recap of the 4th Princess Project Reading Circuit) with @Soul_fool
Loneliness – A Disease of Deficiency (Chronic City) with Nyambura Kiarie
Hip Hop (Poetry on the Other Side) with the @IvoryCherub
Human (Society) with @MoAngwenyi
A Guy’s Obsessions (Gorilla Warfare) with Mehul Gohil
Welcome to the Future (Internet & Gadgets) with Norman Osodo
Read and enjoy!
Remember, if you would like to guest post, all you have to do is write in to firstname.lastname@example.org and pitch your idea. To submit your poetry or a short story, send it in to IvoryPunk@princessprojectkenya.com.
Here’s wishing you a fabulous week full of great ideas and lots of success!