The Princess Project: Boulevard of Broken Dreams


By Njeri Athena

 

I have been having this recurring dream lately. In that dream, I own this beautiful house, I have a hot car… I have it all. For someone who has seen dream after dream crash in front of her eyes, it’s a wonder I can still dream.

Lately it feels like I have been walking on a ‘boulevard of broken dreams’. I remember those days when I dreamt big. I had the course I wanted to pursue in mind; I knew where I wanted to be by a certain age. I knew when I would settle down, where I would live, when and an ideal ‘whom’ that I would have a family with, the places I’d travel to… I had it all figured out. This would happen after this, and then this would follow, in that order.

Time passes by and still no step has been made in the right direction. Nowadays, all I live for is harsh reality. Life becomes a little harsher than it ever was in the sheltered Catholic school that you basically grew up in.

But surely, we all need something to help us wake up in the morning. Like in high school, I used to inspire myself to wake up by closing my eyes for a few minutes and thinking of all the good things that would come my way after I attained the ultimate grade. That would instantly power me up to brave the cold shower at 5 a.m. and be in class on time.

Nowadays, I have to force myself up, face my demons every day. I get haunted by my broken dreams, but I have to pretend that I am okay even when I feel bogged down.

So what happens when you have no mojo in you anymore?What happens when your every effort seems futile? How do you wake up, what drives you during the day?

I just want to be able to believe in my dreams once again.

And on the PPK e-zine this week;

First, Two Parts of the third Episode of The Creekside Princess.

Dirt Room Part One: The plan to get Michael on a lesser charge seemed inadequate to Gaby. He had killed severally and once in front of Gaby. And these manly men want to nail him on tax evasion?! On top of that, using her ‘tits’ to seduce information out of a stupid thug? Why not use Sam? She was the Queen of Flirt and Bizarre. Read this part.

Dirt Room Part Two:I usually pay attention to his reading but today is the first day of menses, four more days to go. The first is usually the hardest. The flow is heavy. I can feel it, warm and thick, dripping on the cotton wool, every nine minutes. The pain in my abdomen and the crack of my bottom is unbearable. Read this part.

Then your weekly articles.

A PPK Review of Alek Wek’s Biography with Parsha Lukamba

An adversity is not A curse… it’s an opportunity – Chronic City with Nyambura Kiarie

HELLO? God?Society & Identity by Brenda Angwenyi

Warm it up with LoveThe other side with The Ivory Cherub

Of self-censorship and WritingPaper Mache with @Soul_Fool

After you read what you may have missed, spend a few minutes telling us what inspires you to keep going.

I need to knowwhat happens when you have no mojo in you anymore?What happens when your every effort seems futile? How do you wake up, what drives you during the day?

 

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