All in a Saturday


Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live – Margaret Fuller

Disclaimer: This is one of those posts that should not be read because it is boring and inspired by the girl who writes this. She claimed that I do very few personal posts and I decided to do five in a row. This must be the sixth and the second last. Anyway, read on and get bored or look for another post, the choice is yours. Remember I said I will be writing what I want.

Last month, I missed mindspeak and vowed to attend this month’s (September). However, as fate would have it, that was not going to happen. I found myself with five activities to accomplish on Saturday:

1. Wake up (that is an activity. I mean it is a Saturday, I could as well spend it in bed);

2. Take my bro to see his sister (as it was his last weekend. His sister happens to be mine, for the sake of the few idiots who are reading);

3. Go with my bro to see my former teacher (That is proof enough I was bright in school. I do not take cover when someone who looks like a brother to a former teacher miraculously shows up on the road I am using);

4. Go to a party that I had been invited like two weeks back. (I do not know why I accepted before checking who was playing in the EPL. Turns out it was Chelsea and Man City Aaargh)

5. Get my bro home. (Notice that it is a Saturday and there is a party. A high likelihood of this event happening on Sunday morning).

Let us fast forward to event 4. (Events 2 and 3 did not take place anyway). The arrangement was that I should call Sandra (the host of the bash) when I reached Location X so that she can come to pick us (me and my bro, Edward). As we approached Location X, I saw Linda and her pal Angela, also waiting to be picked by Sandra. Linda was looking hot as usual. I did not bother to tell her that, she has heard it many a time from every Tom, Dick and Harry and I do not fall to that subset. (use google if you do not understand). Angela was equally hot with a 95.4% confidence interval and 3% margin of error. The margin of error takes into account that I am seeing her for the first time and she may be slightly hotter/less hot the second time.

After eternity less 5 minutes, Sandra did show up, looking “like a beautiful doll” and we proceeded to her crib. The first thing you want to ask as you enter that house is “Where did you steal all these things, and how can I do the same?” There was something for everyone to like/admire. Angela loved the carpet, Linda loved the curtains (that i still do not recall what colour they were or how they looked) while I loved the extra huge plasma screen telly and home theatre. I was looking forward to Sandra doing as I had asked here as she had promised. The other notable thing that I noticed was read this.

Apparently, we were early (even though in real sense) we were an hour late. The girls (Linda and Angela) decided we watch a movie. The movie that we watched was flawed in all ways. NO guns, NO cars and er FEW women. The only gun scene was someone acting like SHE does not know how to use one. Just three shots fired, no one injured! The only scene with a car lasted 3 seconds because they wanted to kill someone in an accident. The movie revolves around 3 or 4 girls who are not thaaat hot. My guess is that the budget for it was like Ksh 123,000 only!

I learned this in the middle of the movie and boy was I glad. Nothing much happened except Sandra’s nephew entertaining us here and there. And Sandra finally dressing up for the bash and me thinking, “Time to keep your promise” (refer above). Timothy finally joined us. (Notice that I am not talking about the guests I did not know before the bash…..except Angela). Timothy is in more ways like me, and in many more ways unlike me. He is like me in that his views are skewed as far away from everyone else’s view as possible. In order for him not to annoy people, (like me), he STFU or gives an expected comment on issues. He is unlike me in that he is ..er.. a bit well fed. A rumour went round that he used to take birth control pills in the hope that his girlfriend would not get paged (instead of his girlfriend taking them) but that is a story for another day.

So if you are there and you are like, “Why the heck did this idiot do such a bad post? What is he yapping about anyway? Why did I not heed his advice and look for another interesting thing to read?” Well, worry no more, I am about to stop boring you. The main reason why I wrote this is from my chit chat with Timothy. As I was telling him how stressed I have been these last few days and how September has been the worst month of 2010 and how I had sent assassins to kill her (Her is my number one enemy. Another story, but no, I will not be telling it) but they had not been successful (I am still wondering what she gave them. How can four grown ups be out-muscled by a harmless girl), this is what he had to tell me (and I quote):

Moral of the story: You are stressed over nothing! I had a friend whom I was talking to about how I could not sleep because of Z. (at this point I was like, dude, do those things happen in real life?) The friend told me that I have run out of things that can stress me. She gave me her current situation. “I have two kids at home. I left no food. Right now I only have Ksh 50 and to get home, I will have to wait for the rush hour to end so that I can pay Ksh 30. Meaning I will be left with Ksh 20 when I get home.” When I heard this, I took Ksh 200 and gave her.

THE DAY’S

Quote: Why is it that women only believe what a man says when it’s a compliment?

#ThatIsAll

This sums up my weekend

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10 thoughts on “All in a Saturday

  1. I also regretably learnt…Bromwitch casted a spell against Arsenal 3 times,before General Wenger’s squad tried to gun them down but all in vain.They fired back only 2 shots before they were subdued.

  2. Still need to knw who the enemy is. its killing me dammit!!! I enjoyd reading this swts as usual, nw im waiting 4 the best seller…

  3. September has been a good month for me. Sorry about yours.

    People have bigger problems, no need to stress over them. Btw, I changed my url to http://jkuattalkshop.wordpress.com. My sikika blog; issues, I can’t even log in.

    Thanks for the mention, and FYI, I like reading your posts. Always.

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