Where did the Vowels go to?

If photography is allowed to stand in for art in some of its functions, it will soon supplant or corrupt it completely thanks to the natural support it will find in the stupidity of the multitude. It must remain to its task, which is to be the servant of the sciences and arts, but the very humble servant, like printing and shorthand, which have neither supplanted nor created literature – Charles Baudelaire

The World has become so electronic that the probability of not using a pen in a day is approaching 1 with every new day. (This reminds me I am supposed to-online-file my tax returns before the deadline in five days and the KRA website is behaving as if it was created by an eight year old learning web design). People are now doing more reading and writing on soft copy than on hard in an effort to conserve the trees. The effects of that has seen a breed of young people doing something that makes me so angry that the latent heat of vaporisation for my blood is almost achieved by the fast beating of my heart.

On a typical tiring day, I will head home with earphones on my ears listening to music and alternating between facebook and twitter as the driver of the mat is busy negotiating routes with the least traffic snarl ups. At this time, all I want to read is something that will entertain me and in the simplest manner possible. I do not want to get a facebook update with 400 characters (most likely, I will not read it). But that is a bit forgiveable considering how bad the next crime is.

Someone will post an update/comment, write on your wall or inbox you with words that have no vowels in the name of writing or is it typing in shorthand. ‘WTH s thz lol thng nw!’ How am I supposed to know what the words in bold mean? Considering it costs you nothing more to write words in full on facebook, I expect most words to be written atleast in full. I only forgive the teenagers for writing such bullcraps and voweless words in the hope that they will outgrow the practice immediately their age no longer begins with a 1! My brain reaction to a non-teenager using such words is to quickly send a message to my eyes saying ‘quickly abort, save yourself, do not read this issht.’ Ironically, twitter restricts a tweet to 140 characters only and hardly will you find such non-sense on twitter.

I am not entirely against shortening words but the practice should either be done sparingly or if you are still a teenager . Words like WTH, WTF, LMAO, GTFOH etc are better written in short than in full so these do not form part of the voweless words I am talking about. Notice, I have not included the Laugh-Out-Loud initials. And for the dudes out there using the lol initials, you are no worse than a dude who watches soaps! You should all be sentenced to 10 years of marriage with Conjestina or Semenya or both. Desist from that. For the 67% of girls who use it as a period in a sentence because you do not know what it means, well now you do. Use it appropriately or better still, DO NOT USE IT AT ALL!!!


Quote: The best way to make your wife scream when you are having an orgasm is to call her and tell her where you are, who you are with and what you are doing – Papa Shango

Cool Blog: The Princess Project (Kenya)

Bonus: You are in a mat going home when you feel like breaking wind. You realise that the music is very loud and if you can time the beat, you can successfully pass the gas without anyone noticing. You try it with success! It is so cool that you want to do it again, now for fun. And for the second time, it is a success! You successfully do it four more times before coming to your destination. As you alight, you notice everyone looking at you with bad eyes. It is then that it hits you that you have been listening to music with earphones on your ipod.


5 thoughts on “Where did the Vowels go to?

  1. You killed it George. That Laugh Out Loud thing should be crucified at the birthplace of all things bad. It adds no value to the English language yet some people still want to misuse it.

    Thanks for the shoutout on The Princess Project. Keep spreading the word.

  2. You nailed it buddy. I weep for these people, I really do!! Even three simple words in an sms!!! really!!!!

  3. Pingback: The Worst of The Greatrnk « The Greatrnk

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